"Sawadee Ka" to Soi Dog and Naiyang Beach

Like "aloha," the Thai word for hello and goodbye ("sawadee-ka" for women, or "-krap" for men) is the same. It provides a circular openness so while I'm on my way out, this journey is only beginning.

With Komarn on my last day

Leaving the shelter was hard yesterday, and I cried like a baby when I walked into run B2 for the last time. I cried because I would miss them dearly and I couldn't take all of my companions home with me. I also didn't want to think of the reality that if there weren't enough volunteers, they would not get the same amount of daily attention.

Everyone kindly comforted me and told me that I would come back to Soi Dog, and it would be easier the next time. That I would see that the dogs continue to endure as they did before... and they are right. You can't turn your back on a place that changes your life.

It is a ripple effect with the dogs. Gain one's trust and another is sure to follow, especially if they are bonded to each other. Remember those beautiful shy white dogs? The sweet, yet timid, Chocolate showed them that I was trustworthy and I walked one of them on my last day. It was one of the first times a volunteer had ever walked her (Rabbit) - she didn't move very fast or go very far, but enjoyed sniffing her way slowly through the foliage. Hunde started to howl in excitement for me every time I'd walk in. Iggy learned to savor a massage. Purdie, Singto and Soldier remained untouched, but they would at least tolerate me in the area without running away near the end. All 15 of these dogs has a story of growth and touched me deeply.

Today I took in some sun at the beach and reflected over the past few weeks. I keep telling myself that I haven't done very much, but I came to realize that I have. No, I didn't get a better handle of the Thai language like I hoped I would, or explore the entire island.

But I've seen amazing sunsets and storms, my little beach town flood, snorkeled in paradise, and visited Patong and Phuket Town. Most importantly, I've met lifelong friends and basically became a part of a pack of dogs, while hopefully making an impact on their lives. 

They have certainly transformed mine.

I have started to feel a calmness inside of me. Since I parted ways with Darryl and felt an overwhelming amount, I felt a little void of emotion. It was like I wasn't truly processing things as they came at me as I was still wrapping my head around the foreign feeling of being alone in a strange place.

This place, the people and the animals changed this. Seeing an almost happy family form in B2, with the dogs starting to frolic, play and be dogs warmed my soul. I realized this anxiety I felt too frequently is almost gone. I can live and enjoy the moment, and if needbe, take sadness in it. 

It doesn't hurt that I have few of the normal outside pressures of life, but it is important to learn and remember what it feels like without the daily rush. The only thing I am really anxious for is for Darryl to come visit.

It's a really nice feeling.

Tomorrow I head for Ko Lanta for a few days, where I will continue my "pursuit of calmness" with daily yoga on the beach and continuing to walk dogs at a bungalow called Time For Lime. They do great work and their proceeds go to Lanta Animal Welfare.

As one last monster storm rolled in during dinner tonight, the booming thunder, rain and wind enveloping me, I felt satisfied with I have done, and I'm beyond excited for what's ahead.

-Erin