Ripping the bandaid off

Ready? Yes? No? OK.

As I sit here in this posh Berlin apartment rental (thanks again, Dustin!), I can't help but to feel silly about my mixed bag of emotions. But I remember something I learned from my days at the Crisis Clinic - we all define our own crisis. If a woman calls crying because her Thanksgiving turkey was burned in the oven and she can't see a way out of her misery, you just have to take everything in context and support them as best as you can.

So it's not that I'm having a crisis, persay, but very early this morning I put Darryl in a cab and we said our goodbyes, knowing it would be probably about 4 months before he can come visit me. This might not seem like a long period of time to those who have endured/endure a long distance relationship, but we have been together almost non stop for 5 and a half years. But after this trip and this last month of working toward this, we have become closer than I ever imagined possible.

We had a spectacular day together yesterday, but as the giant click ticked down, we both became more and more anxious and upset. So as he said, "should we just rip the bandaid off now"? ... and fairly soon after, we did. And though I still don't feel great, it felt better to at least get past that moment that we've so dreaded over the past few months.

He is still thankfully adamant that that a) I need to do this and b) this is not a mistake (as I may or may not have said last night. :)

Onto happier posts hopefully moving forward - I just have one more large hurdle before going into the land of unknown, and that's hopping on a plane by myself to Phuket on Monday. Dustin and I are still here in fabulous Berlin for another 2 nights, so I still have a partner and crime and crutch to use for the last stages of this transition!

By the way - what an AWESOME vacation and way to kick off this trip. I will be uploading photo sets to Flickr and make a few separate posts about the great time we have had in Munich, Prague and Berlin shortly.

Tschüss!!

-Erin

Time Unused is the Longest Time

I have to admit that this weekend was a challenging one. I've been undulating between absolute excitement about my trip and absolute denial because of how much I'm going to miss Darryl. Saying "goodbye" to my folks helped reality set in more.

8 months from now I imagine I will look back at this and wish I could tell myself to just enjoy this time. So this is what I'm going to try to emphasize inside of myself for this next week... enjoying those last moments with Darryl and friends before my life changes, and remind myself that before I know it, I will be back and ready for my next adventure.

"Time unused is the longest time" is a quote I came across recently on a blog, which was found on a tree at Wat Umong (a Buddhist temple in Chiang Mai). I think it's an excellent mantra for the fleeting (yet never ending) time I'm experiencing, the travel I'm undertaking and hopefully for the rest of my life.

We all spend too much time worrying about the unimportant things: stresses at work that consume us whole, petty arguments with significant others and friends, or sitting in front of the TV for hours at a time trying to forget what bothers us (this is me).

I personally hope that living in a new culture (where around 95% of the population practices Buddhism) helps me find some inner peace and the ability to focus on what really matters, and stop wasting this precious time that so many would give anything to have more of.

So... onto the fun aspects of departure: happy hours with friends, a Star Trek themed going away party, one last Husky football game, and oh yeah, that next week I will be in GERMANY!! with Darryl and my best friend, Dustin. :)

-Erin

To boldly go...

Welcome to my travel blog! You've probably stumbled onto here because you are someone near and dear to me, and soon we will be separated by a substantial chunk of land and sea for approximately 7 months. Maybe you're curious about whether I've gone crazy, or hopefully looking forward to seeing where I end up.

I am certainly not a pioneer with my planned travel; search for travel blogs and you will find countless accounts of people who have backpacked the world for much longer, or made the brave move of deciding to never come back home.

But here I am, finally ready to rectify my regret of never studying abroad in college. I've never even lived outside of my beautiful state, Washington. I've been talking about this dream for about 5 years, turn 30 in March and don't want to waste any more time.

I was first introduced to the idea of going to Thailand because of an old coworker. He only worked in the US in the winter so he could see family/friends and save up his money to live in Thailand for the rest of the year. I was (and still am) beyond envious of his lifestyle. His descriptions of the beautiful land, vibrant culture and people were so vivid that I could almost feel myself there.

Since then, I've known Thailand is WHERE I need to be as the starting point for this adventure. It's inexpensive, and also satisfies the requirement of the "uncomfortable" factor where (while people do speak limited English) I will be in the minority with my skin color, language, religion and cultural understanding.

Thailand is known as the "land of smiles," and even if some might be faking it to make an extra buck, it sounds like a truly genuine place. Yes, there is political unrest and questionable parts (where in the world aren't there?), but time and time again I hear that the people make it a wonderful experience.

So here I go.. for myself, to discover, to grow, to be uncomfortable, scared, anxious, excited.. the entire gamut of human emotions that make this experience called life worthwhile.

What does Darryl (my boyfriend) think? Well, first, thank God for Darryl. When we first got together, I swore I was leaving the country to join the Peace Corps and could not be in a relationship with him. I am extremely glad I broke that promise, because he is the best thing to ever happen to me. Throughout our relationship, he has been my personal "travel advocate" and insisted that I go on this trip. I couldn't do this without his support, or the endless support of my family and friends.

I told Darryl a few days ago that I wish he could just come with me, and that it would make everything a million times easier. This is completely true, but it also wouldn't give me the chance to explore the world on my own and come back to him a better person.

I finally set a date and have a one way ticket from Berlin to Bangkok. There is no going back from here, unless I run out of money or am completely miserable. But at least I will know I gave it a try.

DEPARTURE IN T-20 DAYS (to Munich/Prague/Berlin, then -->BKK-->HKT)