Viva Laos Vegas, Burma Border Crossing, Hilltribe Christmas, and the Road Back "Home" - Motorbikin' Days 11-18

**My mother gets credit for the clever usage of "Laos Vegas," and I have stolen it for this blog title.

I've been trapped (or freed?) in the world of questionable WiFi for a while now. I thought getting to Bangkok or even Penang would mean super fast internet, but no, I'm still stuck trying to catch up to uploading pictures to Flickr at a snail's pace. Anyway, a bit behind, so let's see if I can get caught up at least through (almost) Christmas!

Pt 1: Laos Vegas

I left off as we were pulling into the Golden Triangle... AKA the opium triangle, where Thailand, Burma and Laos meet. Mostly in the middle of a river, a silly way to draw borders in my opinion.

We set our sights on heading "overseas" to a casino, which consisted of wandering down the main road on foot until we saw a sign for the "Thailand - Laos Border Crossing Point." After convincing the Thai immigration officials that No, we don't need a visa to get into Laos, because Yes, I'm POSITIVE there is an exemption for one day trips... (something I'd read and was starting to doubt more by the minute), they stamped our passports and we took a tiny speedboat across the river.

Thai immigration's skepticism was correct, but lady luck was in our favor as there was a booth for visa on arrival, meaning we could apply on site and pay the fee. $30 later and we were approved to stay in Laos for up to 30 days, in case we ended up trapped in the casino. We just kept saying "CASINO?!" along this path and were given a free cab ride to the promised land (AKA Casino!), which was actually pretty reminiscent of Vegas.

No photos were allowed beyond the ornate entrance area, but the main casino floor was probably 90% baccarat tables. I was there to find the only game I can actually play well - blackjack. We found the table and were instructed to go buy chips... in yen. This was a Chinese run Laotian casino - yikes. We were the only people playing blackjack and most definitely a spectacle, as about 5-8 additional staff people surrounded the table to watch us play this apparently foreign game.

Casino!

Since Eric lost his wallet, I was the main source of funding, and yen is a quick way to spend money when you're used to spending Thai baht. I left the table to try to figure out where the nearest ATM was, and after a confusing conversation, resulting in the conclusion that my non-Asian credit card was not a form of appropriate casino credit, went back to the blackjack table. Most of my chips (DO NOT SPEND THOSE CHIPS, ERIC, had fallen on deaf ears) were gone, and he was basically empty handed.

We had only been gambling for a short period of time and were not about to let our visas go to waste. Why there are no ATMs or access to cash anywhere in the near area of the casino is beyond me - if you want a great money source, set one up at the Laotian casino. A bit of negotiating later and we found ourselves a ride in a large electric powered golf-cart-esque vehicle manned by a casino employee.

About a 45 minute slow moving and bumpy ride through the Laotian countryside later, we finally made it to the nearest village with the only ATM in the area. That of course provided money in Laotian kip, which is about 10,000:1 USD. A few million kip dispensed later (a painstaking, multi-withdrawal process as it understandably had a low-ish per transaction withdrawal limit), our casino friend took us to the local currency exchange - a hole in the wall mini mart. To convert the money back to Thai baht. To then convert into yen once we got to the casino.

Who knows how much we lost in the conversion, but this is all moot, because once we got back we (especially Eric) were on a hot streak. Security gathered and they tried to shut down the table. For some reason us saying "What the ?! - no!" and start to make a scene convinced them to keep the table open. About $2500k+ (USD) ahead, we walked away, got a ride back to the dock, and sped back across the river to the safe Thai countryside, formally re-entered the country... and proceeded to have a "make it rain" party in our hotel room.

Thai immigration

MONEY

Later Eric let me know he picked up and pocketed a 9 of Spades card right outside of the ATM - possibly our lucky token? Or something that could have gotten us booted out of the casino if it had been discovered, but whatever.

Pt 2: Burma and the Hall of Opium
The next morning, high on our winnings, it was time to take on another border crossing - Burma. After stopping by the local immigration checkpoint and learning we couldn't take a boat there (my geography is horrible, but why have a checkpoint there...?), it was time to hop on the motorbike to the nearest border, back in Mae Sai. First we had to get gas and for the first time since Ko Lanta, used one of the unmanned, automated stations. I filled my bike up and drove about 45 seconds before my bike sputtered and died.

:(

As my friend Jill keeps saying, "You and your scooter luck!"  It could have been worse, however, and died in the middle of no where, but it conveniently gave out right in front of our hotel.

Eric determined that I put diesel in my bike - the station had two pumps, one labeled completely in Thai with a truck photo under it. The pump handles were both the same color. As a diesel car driver in the states, I usually pay close attention to handles as to not make this mistake. Dammit. I consulted my scooter expert, Google, and determined this wouldn't do any damage to the engine, so we figured we could syphon out the diesel later. I hopped on Eric's bike and we rode tandem to the border.

We wanted to drive the scooter into Burma, but knew that was a long shot... immigration immediately shut us down, so we parked the bike and walked across with a swarm of other tourists.

We were pulled into an office shortly after the border for them to hold our passports (!!) and pay the tourist tariff. Foreigners kind of get the shaft throughout SE Asia in this regard, but I figure it's my way of giving back. Passportless, we were swarmed by a crowd of tuk tuk drivers offering to drive us to the "hot spots" in town. It was cheap, so why not - easier than on foot for an unplanned visit. At our request he took us first to eat (Eric's "best pad Thai".. in Burma of course), then took us around to a few temples.

The most striking was the golden chedi at the top of the city, which provided sweeping views of Tachilek. I momentarily felt a bit like I was in another land, maybe South America... but otherwise, this border town proved to be not so foreign.

Tachilek's main income is from people doing visa runs or walking in for the day, so you are hassled constantly to buy cartons of cigarettes, viagra, gold... everything. The non-hassling Burmese people we did encounter were definitely extra friendly - almost more smiles than Thai, but I still didn't get a real sense of the culture. I will have to make a visit back deeper into the countryside. Hopefully this trip.

Burmese tuk tuk

Chedi of Pathat Sueli Lacon

Yes please!

Yep, cop on my scooter

The next day it was time to leave the Golden Triangle, but we had to take care of my millionth scooter incident. We got a hose from hotel staff and Eric siphoned out the diesel from my tank (and barfed a little - thanks bud!), but the scooter still wouldn't start. There must have still been diesel in the fuel line or carb.

A large police presence at the hotel (due to some Chinese/Thai diplomatic meeting) meant we had on location assistance, and it was hilarious watching police officer after police officer (and then a tiny Thai woman) try to kick start my scooter... because explaining what was actually wrong was completely lost in translation. One of the hotel staff finally understood what we needed and called a local repairman, who picked up my bike, brought it to his shop to flush the engine, and delivered it back to me for less than $10.

Attractively melting with a triple chin

Finally it was time to start heading out of town, but we couldn't leave without seeing the Hall of Opium. This is a museum that was created with non-profit and government grants (a pet project of the deceased Princess Mother) to raise awareness of the opium trade and addiction in the area.

Until the early 1990s, the Golden Triangle was supplier of most of the world's heroin, so it is understandably a national concern. The museum was a mix between psychedelic - you start by walking down a very long blue lit tunnel with screaming or expressive/melting faces sculpted into the walls, trippy music playing in the background - then conversely end up in an educational/"normal" museum, which is partially an anti-drug campaign. There was actually some pretty nice architecture inside and I found it to be one of the better museums I have been to, outside of the whole depressing drug war and addiction aspect of it all. No photos were technically allowed...shh...

About to enter the museum after the "hall"... see - trippy!

Pt 3: Unexpected Hill Tribe "Christmas"

Up next was Chiang Rai, where we took it easy, but coincidentally arrived at the inaugural night of the annual flower festival, which lasts for a month. We checked out both locations of the flower festival, downtown and at the airport the next morning, before heading to stay with the local Akha hill tribe. Bright tropical flowers love the hot and humid Thai weather, so it was a treat to stumble onto.

Staying with a hill tribe had been on the "to do" list for a while and I was excited to check it off. I don't know what I would do without having a data plan and Google maps on this trip, because English signs tend to come and go, and lots of places try to use local or hard to find references that pan out maybe 50% of the time. So I'm amazed we actually found this hill tribe as it was definitely up in the jungle. Thai serendipity kicked in for the millionth time when we heard the non stop firecrackers going off - they were celebrating Christmas THAT night.

We walked up to the "top" of the tribe area and they were happily pouring shots of both locally made rice whiskey and the standard Hong Thong. The rice whiskey was something akin to Dominican Republic's Mama Juana, but well, not wine based, but there were herbs that soaked in it for an extended period of time. It was clear and tasted like tequila, which was unexpected.

We sat around the campfire and one of the local guides played his guitar and led a sing-a-long out of his "popular English music" book. As we made friends, another guide invited us to his family's home down the hill - how could we resist? We walked in and it was packed with generations of families, babies to elderly, cats and dogs... all in a humble small space. He explained to me that he was, I'm not sure if this is quite the right word, but embarrassed to share because this is all that they have. I was glad I was able to reassure him that these are the real experiences I am looking for, and that it's family that matters more than anything in the world - not big homes or possessions, though I of course understood the yearning for it.

Animals keeping warm next to the roasting pig head

They laid out some dishes that included a bit of organ meats that we ate politely, and then they threw a pig's head on the fire in the middle of the hut. I could look inside the head and see everything... Suddenly the group of local carolers (and pastor I believe) showed up and started singing both "traditional" Christmas and local tunes.

We joined the group of carolers and sang our way back to the campground, hanging out close to the fire whenever possible to stay warm, late into the night. It was one of the best nights of the trip, accepted into a local family, a hill tribe that wasn't dressed up and exploited for the sake of tourists - honestly one of my biggest fears entering in the first place.

It's Christmas time... in the hill tribe

The next morning we said our goodbyes, and the guide I had spoken intimately with the night before (I feel really bad, but I am not confident in the name) truly looked saddened to learn we weren't extending our trip and were instead moving on.

We closed the Golden Triangle "loop" the next two days, consisting of a visit through the sleepy lakeside town of Pha Yao (and riding swan foot pedal boats on the large lake, naturally) and then to Lampang for our last night. In both places, the "best pizza in Thailand" according to Trip Advisor eluded me as they were closed either for church or the holiday! That's OK, my belly didn't need it anyway.

This road trip has taught me so much, most of all to remind myself that any type of adventure, be it on two feet or two wheels is attainable. It helps to have a travel buddy on these "crazy" treks as well. :) If you had told me a few months ago that I would clock almost 2000km on a motorbike through the Thai countryside and survived to tell the tale, I would most certainly have told you "No, that's way too dangerous."

Maybe it was, but it was worth it.

-Erin

Our good luck charm